sentiments
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
I finished watching Black Hawk Down for the third time. I liked the movie, critics didn't find it too unrealistic either. Got me thinking too, like Yi Chen would after a war movie or dream.. I think the chances of me achieving objectives in combat are really slim.
Give me a project objective or proposal and I'd most probably see to it, but in the conditions of war, I undoubtedly wouldn't think straight. Probably too scared to budge. I recalled in paintball, completely forgetting about main objectives and trying to defend myself. It worked, only one minor cut, but certainly no teamwork. Wonder if that worked up my teammates.
In applicable terms though, I think too much gets clouded in my vision. Sometimes I get to selfish trying to wish so badly for somethings to happen. Either I end up getting it, and spiting someone else, or falling behind further than I started.
Digressing, I realise that one certain event changed me totally. Somewhere back in secondary two, I opened myself to other aspects. In turn, I subconsciously closed some doors. Of course, ignorance is bliss, and had I not opened another, things may have played out for the better. Now I don't know whether to regret the committments I made.
To have had, and lost, or to have never had at all, but the grass is always greener over the fence. I was too comfortable where I was, and now I am resistant to change. I feel like I can't pick myself up. It didn't take everyone to tell me I'm too sticky before I knew it. I just couldn't bring myself to let go.
If I had a polaroid,Of you and I,I'd have reminisced and toyed,Dreaming days gone by.Blinded by yonder,Yet eyes opened, unwavering.I had regretfully gone hither,Now uncertain, faltering.The occasional, I wished perpetual,Ignorantly forestalling, when neither came.Perhaps it became atypical,Yet I lay awake, hoping in vain.
penned by joel at 2:43 PM
Dec x
Dec x
