The far future.
Friday, January 11, 2008
I entered JC to hope to enter a university, but only now after talking to the guys, was I reminded of something I may come to lose, in time. I had forgotten, all about National Service and it's implications.
Going for NS means having to give up 2 years of further education, and during those two years, the girls just move on. Entering university, meeting other guys of 2 or more years older. This startling reminder made me think of her.
Could it be that I worry too much? I have this nagging fear, although for the distant and blurry future, but nonetheless quite real. That is that I may lose
her to
someone. Thinking and writing about this just makes me feel silly already, but I shan't fake a facade.
I can be patient, but what if circumstances change and bend away from my control? This persistent thought keeps coming back, a boomerang that just won't relent. The fact remains, that most relationships in adulthood have the guy being older, but this thought can't etch in my mind. I always thought I'd wait, but now I seem to fear how long she'll take. Or whether she will at all.
I never saw this coming,
a naive fantasy or a reasonable worry, I can't draw the line between my own perceptions.
penned by joel at 10:06 PM
Dec x
Dec x
